thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
