my sisters under your porch take her home
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
