woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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