dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
