I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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