I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
