so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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