The maid of honor just puked.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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