Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
