oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He? As in you personified your dick?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
