he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize