The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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