I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
