Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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