i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
