I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
How external is "for external use only"?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
