sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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