just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize