Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
