There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I think I died a long time ago.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
