This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize