I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
