We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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