fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
