Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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