This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
