He disabled his match.com account in front of me
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
