Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
