I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
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