3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
