im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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