i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
