at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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