Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize