Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
