So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize