I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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