I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
