She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
