my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
