That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
