she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
