I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize