She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
