nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
