I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
