i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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