My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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