too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize