we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
