theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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