i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
