i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
