Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My ATM looks so different sober.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
