It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
