That's intense
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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