He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize