OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
