The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
