is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
